Down here in Arizona I have golfed with so many people that had plans on enjoying retirement and playing tons of golf but things happened with their adult kids that they had not planned about.
Most people love their kids and it is hard to say “No” to them. I know that for a fact. When the boys ask me for stuff it is hard for me to ever say “No” to them. They say “Dad” and give me those cute eyes and I melt. But there are times we need to say “No” so they can grow and figure it out on their own.
One of my friends has a daughter that got Divorced and moved in with them with her two kids. That was over ten years ago. Another friend has two adult kids living with them and they each have kids also. He said he is picking up after them all the time and they don’t help out at all with pitching in towards house or food expenses. His kids are in their thirties, that is crazy. I know one lady has a healthy and stable son that has never moved out, he is in his sixties. WOW.
The three examples above are sad stories. The parents are in their seventies and eighties and still working jobs to support their adult kids. I say it is time for their kids to move out and figure it out and to pay their share of rent. All three examples of parents all have Debt also. Ughhh..
I asked my Dad for money a few times in my life and he turned me down each time. He said “Sorry son but you will figure it out, want to talk to your mom?” He was right, I did survive and figured it out. It is hard for people to say “No” to their kids but they could be hurting them more than helping them.
CBSnews.com said “Almost 40 percent of young adults lived with their parents, step-parents, grandparents and other relatives last year, or the highest point in 75 years, according to data from real estate analytics company Trulia. The research echoes findings from the Pew Research Center earlier this year, which found that 32.1 percent of 18- to 34-year-olds lived at their parents’ homes in 2014, exceeding the 31.6 percent of young adults who were married or living with a partner in their own household.”. See link below in the show notes.
Below is what we covered with our boys. We gave them each a copy of it and we have it posted in our Kitchen. This of course is after they are done with High School and if they don’t continue to College or they drop out of College.
|Rent if not in College|
|Logan Starts 9/1/2021|
|Seth Starts 9/1/2025|
|Rent Starts at $500|
|Rent goes up $50 each Year|
|Max Rent is $850|
|Use of Room|
|Share Common House Areas|
|Washer and Dryer to Use|
|Parking Spot in Driveway|
|No Destroying Property|
|No Messing up House|
|No Roommates over 8 days a month|
|No Illegal Activities|
|No Loud Music|
|You are Responsible for;|
|You own expenses|
|Your Cell Phone|
|Any other Misc. Expenses|
|Your Insurances (Med,Car,etc)|
I am not against helping our kids out if we are in a Financial situation that we can and that they are really trying to make it. If they are not applying themselves, not hustling, not educating themselves and just playing video games then we will say “No”. But we do love them a ton. They need to know the Consequences of their Choices. We stress Choices and Consequences all the time to them.
Why not lead by example and make sure you are Financially Free before any help. How about helping them out with your knowledge on how to reach Financial Freedom instead of just giving them money. Don’t let your adult kids hold you back from your Financial or Retirement goals.
Here are two positive quotes I like; “There is no way to happiness; happiness is the Path.” By Buddha
“Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” by Wayne W. Dyer
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Sources and Resources from Podcast (Available in Show Notes)