No Loans to Family or Friends

Most people probably would say they love and care for their family and friends. Myself I like to solve problems because I don’t like to see anyone suffer. Especially when it is my family or friends. It normally has felt good when I could help them out with loaning people money but then normally those feelings go away and new feelings of pain seem to set in.

Most people that I loaned money too paid me back but without a lot of hassle, lost trust and hurt relationships. Some people that loan money to others get feelings of being used, taken advantaged of and not wanting to help anyone else ever.

Few people never paid me back and I never heard from them again. But when they asked me for money, I was their best friend and we would be best friends for life they made it seem. Funny how that happens. LOL

Few people paid me back when they said they would. That is very few did that. Most people I had to hunt down, hassle them and one I even had to hire a Lawyer with to protect the money that was owed to me. Most people that did pay me back took anywhere from One to fifteen years. Yes, one took fifteen years to pay me back.

It is tough when people don’t even try to make small payments to you monthly. Instead they seem to never bring it up what they owe you and normally don’t pay any money towards the loan unless you bug them.

I even loaned someone my house to live in and I moved in with a neighbor. The family that moved in my house was supposed to be a short time situation and were to pay me for utilities and a small rent amount. They paid the first month and then after that nothing. I had to have friends help me evict them. I never received any money from them for the past utilities and rent from the house. I never have heard from them again. Plus, they broke some stuff while living there.

Sometimes when we loan money to people, we hurt them more than we help them. We don’t let them solve their own problems and think outside the box. Plus, they probably have deeper issues like spending more than they make. If you solve their money problems, they will probably be right back in money problems down the road again.

I asked my Dad twice for money and he said “Sorry Son but you will figure it out, do you want to talk to your mom?” He was so right and both times I did come up with solutions once I let my mind calm down and it made me stronger.

Some more reasons to think about before you loan money to any family or friends;

  • Most people never pay you back any interest. The money you loan them you could have been earning interest on investing it.
  • Relationship is strained and when you get with them it can be weird.
  • They may come back again and again for more money.
  • What happens if you have a big expense comes up and you need that money you loaned out to them?
  • It is hard to ask for the money back.
  • You could lose the relationship.
  • You could lose the money you loan them.
  • They probably won’t make it top on their list to pay you back.
  • You are enabling them to keep borrowing money from people instead of figuring things out on their own.

So, if you do want to loan money to someone think of it as a gift so you don’t get upset if they don’t pay you back. You could offer your services instead of money to help them figure out how to solve their problem or how they could come up with some money. Maybe help them negotiate with who they owe money too?

That is why we teach our boys to never loan any money to family or friends. We tell them to think of it as a gift and not a loan. We also teach them to maybe try to offer other solutions than money. Maybe they could help brainstorm ideas on how they can fix their problems. Maybe help them negotiate out a payment plan for what they needed a loan for. Bottom line we stress to not loan any money to family or friends unless they have reached their Financial Freedom Goals and don’t expect to ever get the money back.

 Have you loaned anyone money before? If so what percentage of times did you receive the money back? The ones that paid you back what percentage made it a priority to pay you back? How did you feel when someone didn’t pay you back? I have been their and it is no fun for sure.

Teaching your kids how to achieve Financial Freedom is important we feel. Like Proverbs 22:6 NIV said “Train up a child in a way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”


Here are two positive quotes I like; “There is no way to happiness; happiness is the Path.” By Buddha

“Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” by Wayne W. Dyer

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