Kids or Retirement

Our folks came from large families. Especially our Dads because they came from farming families and that seemed to be the thing to do. Have a lot of kids and they can help on the farm. Now a days with the high cost of living or the high living lifestyles that so many people have it is hard to have large families. Some people have one or two kids and others choose not to have any kids and have a pet.

Nothing wrong with having a pet instead of kids if your financial situation or lifestyle doesn’t fit for having a kid. For instance, I always had Labs. They were the best dogs for us.

For instance, Labs were always happy to see you where kids ages 12 to 22 aren’t always excited to see their parents. My dogs cost less money per year than our kids did. Both Kids and Dogs need to be potty trained but Dogs seem to learn faster. My Labs were protective and good guard Dogs where a lot of time our Teenagers are in their rooms playing Video Games. Our Labs we would be with us most of the time when we are home and Teenagers we hardly see. Our Labs didn’t complain and want stuff like our Teenagers do. Labs don’t take long showers or stay in the bathroom for an hour like a Teenager. You have no car expenses or clothing expense each year for a Dog either. The list could go on.

Kids are great don’t get me wrong. I love our 4 kids. But there are times they drive me nuts. Kids are most loveable from around age 2 to age 12. They say kids come back after they are in their twenties. I have not seen that from my two older kids but with the Divorce from my first wife she bought their love and brained washed them. Hopefully they will come around someday and meet their brothers, step Mother and be apart of our family. If they don’t then it is there loss. I know our boys want to get to know them. Plus, Darlene would love to have another girl in the house. Maybe also our boys will get married someday and then we can have more girls in the house. LOL

We teach our boys to have Financial Planning meetings with their future spouse and after they are married about their Financial Freedom goals, plans, budgets, desires and more. I have worked with couples in the past that didn’t have these talks until it was too late because it was uncomfortable. Then most of them was at a point of no return. Money is one of the major reasons for Divorce.

We taught them that they should also go to a Church for Pre-Marital Classes. If they have a problem talking about money issues then to find a third person that they both trust to talk with them. It could be a Financial Planner, Accountant, Lawyer or a Financial Coach like myself.

Remember this show is for entertainment only and you should seek advice from your Financial team if you have any questions on Investing. See my Disclaimer on I want to help you prepare for an unexpected bill so you don’t go into debt paying on a bill. I want everyone to live Debt Free and reach their Financial Freedom goals.

If they both aren’t on the same page before they get married it will make it harder to be on the same page with Money issues once they are married. It will be hard to spend less then they make and to Invest enough money to reach their Financial Freedom goals or ever Retire.

The people that can’t talk about Money or plan for their future then they would be a great candidate to have a dog. Besides Money there are so many things to discuss before getting married to make sure each of them knows the others desires and what they think being married should be like.

Here are some good topics they should talk about before getting married are;

– Budget.

– Retirement Goals. Retirement Age. Where to Retire at.

– Want Kids or Not.

– How many Kids do they want if so.

– What size of house.

– Are they open to relocating for work to a different State.

– Will they both work till Retirement or not.

– If they have Kids will one stay home with the Kids. Who will stay home with the kids?

– Do they want Pets. What kind of Pet. How many Pets.

– What type of Cars. New or Used Cars.

– One Checking Account or Separate? Same with Credit Cards.

– Does either have Debt. Debt Free Living goals.

– Vacation views and budget.

– Large Expense amount to both agree on. Like anything over $100 or $250 or $500.

– Having a Home Business or Not.

– How to Invest Money for Retirement.

– Emergency Fund.

– Financial Freedom Goals.

– Gift Budget, Entertainment Budget, Vacation Budget and more.

These are a few important topics to talk about before getting married. If you are married and haven’t talked about them then I would suggest you start today.

The list of topics can go on and on. Add what is important to each of you to the above items.

Some people that I have worked with in the past thought if they had a Child with someone it would bring their relationship closer. But instead it did the opposite. They fought more about money to parenting.

The lack of people planning for Kids, Retirement or their Financial Freedom Goals it is no wonder why the Divorce rate is around 50%. Then some people jump back into another marriage and they make the same mistakes and go down the Divorce route again.

Another Topic a lot of couples don’t talk about is what happens when their kids become Adults and want to be taken care of. Some adult kids just don’t move out and some keep wanting their parents to send them money.

The longer adult kids keep living at home and not helping out with house expenses they are taking away from your Retirement and Financial Freedom plans. We estimate each of our boys are costing us an easy $600 per month or $7,200 on the low side each year. That doesn’t include what we spend taking them on vacations with us during the year. With two Adult boys at home that would be over $14,400 that we could be Investing towards our Retirement and Financial Freedom goals.

Over the years I have golfed with many guys that still have Adult kids living at home or that they are giving their kids money to support their lifestyles.

One couple I know has two boys that are in their thirties still living at home and not paying any money towards home expenses. Him and his wife are over age 65 They both have jobs because they still have a mortgage and car loans. They both don’t see how they will ever retire. On top of that he told me his one son was complaining to him that he didn’t buy snacks for him at the grocery store. Wow….

Our boys we have told them they need to start paying Rent once they are done with school and help with other home expenses until they move out. Each year Rent will go up for them $50 per month. Rent starts at $550 per month with an additional $500 per month to cover household expenses like Food they eat, Utilities, laundry and to other expenses that they use. Also, $5 for rides they need within a 5-mile radius or they can ride their bikes, walk, take the bus, a taxi, Uber or Lyft if they don’t have their own car. It is there choice. We will not buy they a car or pay for them to be on our Car Insurance. That is the plan we have.

We hope our boys will work hard and get the education they need to get a good job or start a business. We also hope they will Invest 25% or more towards their Retirement or Financial Freedom Goals. We can’t do it for them, they need to take action on their own.

I have another friend that said his Son is 29 years old and only has a part-time job. He works only 10 to 20 hours a week and gives them no money towards household expenses. He said his Son spends most of his time playing Video Games or on his phone. The Son has no car so he gets rides from friends or his parents. Wow…

Someone gave us suggestions the other day about things to do for Adult kids that don’t move out and that don’t help with household expenses. They suggested some of the following things;

  • Put their Cell Phones in the kid’s name, making them responsible for paying the bill or it gets shut off.
  • Pull their X-Box and TV out of their room.
  • Give them Ramen Noodles and Cases of Water in their room to live on.

Very good suggestions they gave us. These would help give the Adult Kids more incentive to make more money, invest more money so they can begin their Adult lives in their own place. Supporting them selves and building their own future. While helping us reach our Retirement and Financial Freedom Goals.

We hope everyone hits their Financial Freedom Goals from our family – The Mills Family.

Here are some positive quotes I like;

“Get your Money to Work for You… As hard as You Work for it.” By Napoleon Hill

“1. Make Money. 2. Use the Money to Make More Money. 3. Repeat the Process.” By Warren Buffett

“There is no way to happiness; happiness is the Path.” By Buddha

“Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” by Wayne W. Dyer

Let me know your thoughts about this blog and let me know of others you would like me to do in the future. I feel we can all learn from each other. That is why I am in the helping people retire early, enjoy life more and be more successful. Also, please see my Disclaimer page.

Don’t give up on your dreams; don’t let others talk you out of your dreams. Make your dreams happen. Make it happen today.

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